We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
