i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Randomize
