it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
My hand turned me down
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
