wat bout pragnant strippers??
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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