the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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