Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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