Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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