Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Your dad touched me again.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
