Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
