we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
