the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
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