I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
