He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
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