She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
