someone threw a dead crab at me
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
