I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
