just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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