So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
