her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Dear god my vagina.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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