I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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