Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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