I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
