Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
