Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
