At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
All I want is dick and wine.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
