I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
