I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
