I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
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