my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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