I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Sorry about my life...
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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