last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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