There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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