and my herpes radar will keep us safe
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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