Hey man sorry I got all grabby
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I fill condoms, not promises.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
