I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
