She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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