I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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