Your mouth is God's brothel.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
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