I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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