we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
