you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
