you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize