ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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