During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
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