Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
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