VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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