i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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