New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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