JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
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