pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize