I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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