She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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