How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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