More tranny stories later!
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
