I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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