Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
