i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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