it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize